Top 10 'name/place Drops' Susan Should Have Made at Her Nickelback Audition...but likely didn't

Oh Susan...if only you had been blogging when you went to audition for Nickelback. How much help I could have been to you. I don't particularly like Nickelback. However, I am from Hanna, as are they, and, I guess by now, through the video for Photograph, and the Maclean's article, several of you are now aware of Hanna as well. The following is an insider's guide to the knowledge of small town Alberta...pertinent to anyone who 'really wants to appear to be in the know'...because we all know that NAME DROPPING is what really counts in this business.

(no particular order to the dialogues, as my laziness prevents me from doing so)

10. Susan-wait. You guys are from Hanna, right? Isn't that the hometown of former Calgary Flame Lanny McDonald also? He was their captain, right?
9. Susan- Is it true that there are a lot of deserted old farm houses all around Hanna, giving it a real ghost-town feel?

8. Susan- Yeah, hotels in Hanna are pretty rustic, eh?
Chad- I guess, but the one we used to play in had RIPPERS 5 nights per week!
(conversation ensues)7. Susan-Hanna? hmmm, oh, wait...isn't there a coal mine and power plant near Hanna called Sheerness that both creates a heated lake for enjoyment, and also emits a dangerous amount of toxins into the air for unenjoyment?
6. Susan-Oh, the part in the Photograph video where the birds are flying and the guy is chasing after the girl is my favourite. I actually saw a picture of that roundhouse on the internet one time. Didn't some guy from Calgary buy that and doesn't he have plans to turn it into a Railway Museum?5. Susan-A lot of people call Hanna 'armpit Albert'. But, since I'm from BC, I find the wide, flat spaces breathtaking, and they actually have the same effect as the mountains in that dwarf you.
4. Susan- Hanna, eh? Hmm, isn't there a lake near Hanna called Fox Lake, even though there are no foxes at all? On Canada Day, three years ago, didn't someone jump a ski-doo in the water and make it into the Guiness Book of World Records for longest Ski-doo jump on water? Didn't 2000 people from the town line the beach to watch this?
3. Susan- Isn't there a tiny campground near there where the kids used to drink at lunch time and after school?
2. Susan- I have a pretty good idea of where Hanna is, actually...
1. Susan- Is it true that there is nothing better to do in Hanna than cruise main street and the back roads on a Friday night...and any night for that matter?


So, well, for Susan, and for anyone else auditioning for Nickelback, I hope this gave you some insight. Yes, there are only 3000 people in Hanna. No, there is not a lot to do. Is there a movie theatre? no. Are there over 10 churches? yes.Was I happy to leave? Hell yeah, but I wouldn't exchange growing up there for anything.